Imbecile Anthem
by Servatia
Summary: Mirrorverse fic. My first, as it were. Rated M for language and non-con or dubious consent in the first chapter (and only there).
1. Hard and Suddenly

_((Originally written for Spiced Peaches XXXIX._

_Warning: non-con or dubious consent_

_itle is the name of a song by ASP and all four chpater names are either lines or fractions of lines from that song, as are the couples of lines at their beginning._

_This one was betaed by Janet :) ))_

* * *

_Imbecile Anthem_

_Part 1: Hard and Suddenly_

_I didn't fall in love, it was love that fell on me  
It just happened, you just happened hard and suddenly_

The guard's grip on Leonard's arm was so hard there was no doubt he'd be bruised after this. He held his head up high in defiance, still completely confused about what the hell was going on to begin with. 'You'll heal him. No matter what it takes.' The Captain's voice was sharp and full of anger. It always was. They had reached the door to Spock's quarters, and Leonard was suddenly scared. The Vulcan had been increasingly violent over the past two weeks, had demanded that he be brought to his home planet, and had, of course, been denied. Leonard had no idea what was wrong with the man or what to do for him. 'It seems he needs to have sex. You're the doctor, you provide the cure.' Leonard gaped open-mouthed at the man he had once thought he knew.

'I should do what?' he rasped. 'Jim, we were friends once! You can't be …' He collided with the wall. It wasn't the guard who had shoved him, though. Kirk's right hand was holding his chin, pushing it up until he thought his jaw must break.

'I'm your Captain, McCoy. You'd do well to remember that.' The Captain loosened his grip only to slam his skull into the solid wall again. Leonard groaned, unable to stop himself. 'Do you hear me?' He tried to swallow, but he couldn't. He also couldn't nod.

'Yes. I … Sorry. I'll do what I can for him.' The words were barely audible, black spots were starting to dance before his eyes.

'Do more than that.' Finally, Kirk let him go. Leonard picked himself up, gasping for air. He knew that he'd have more bruises on his neck, but then again, Spock might very well kill him. 'In. Now.' Somehow, it even felt safer inside a crazed Vulcan's den than here. Perhaps being killed wouldn't be so bad.

The temperature was so high it was almost intolerable, the lights down to perhaps five percent. Leonard couldn't see much. Spock could be just to his side and attack him any moment. His heart racing, Leonard stood with his back against the door. 'Spock?' he choked out at last. 'Spock, are you there?'

'Come here.' The voice was calm, dreadfully calm.

'I can't see you.'

'Lights to 25%.' Leonard wished they would go out again. The alien sat naked on his bed with his legs spread wide, displaying a huge, painfully green erection.

'Oh God,' Leonard managed. 'What … do you need? Do you know how I can … help you?'

'I need to fuck. And you are here.' The Vulcan stood and was there, right there so fast Leonard couldn't even think of a reply. He could smell him, caught between the man and the wall, could feel the hard member pressing into his stomach. Strong hands gripped him and all but ripped his trousers as he pulled them down without bothering to open them first.

'Wait,' he managed. 'God, Spock, wait.' With superhuman strength Spock pushed him to the floor and settled between his legs. Panic rose in Leonard's gut, but he managed not to struggle. 'Just one moment, wait! Don't do this, I'll help you, but please, please don't rape me.' The violent grip holding him down loosened, and with an effort the Vulcan retreated. Leonard sat up and looked at the being that had transformed into a predator.

'You wish this?'

'No. But I'll cooperate. Let me prepare myself, I only need a few minutes. This … this'll help you?'

'Yes.'

'Will you tell me why?'

'Not now. Hurry or I will take you right here.' Leonard raised his hands.

'Whoa. Can I go to the bathroom? I'd like a bit of privacy.'

'No. Do it here.' Leonard nodded and walked over to the bed, feeling rather shaky. He left his trousers where he'd been.

'Do you have any sort of personal lubricant?' The raised eyebrow was answer enough. 'I'll just use the food synthesiser for a moment.' Olive oil would have to do. Not ideal, but there was worse. No lubricant, for example. 'You … could you please not watch me?'

'No. I will do it.' Leonard's eyes went wide.

'As you wish. But be thorough. I haven't done this in a while.' Spock took the small jar with the oil from him and sat on the bed beside him.

'I have no wish to hurt you. Tell me if I do.'

'Just … be gentle and I'll be fine. I might like it, even.' All he had to do was not think why exactly he was here in the first place and that this was the same alien that had nearly broken Christine's neck when she had offered willingly what Leonard had been forced to offer. A long digit started probing him, and Leonard struggled to relax against the intrusion. Hell, he had enjoyed this before. But now he just couldn't.

It felt like an eternity before some of the discomfort left him. There was no pain, but he couldn't get into it, either. 'You do not appear to enjoy it, Doctor.' Leonard let out a snort.

'Spock, I was dragged here by my arm and bodily thrown inside. I … also don't know what you'll do to me afterwards.' Spock looked up at him.

'Nothing. I will let you go.' There was a short pause. 'You do not believe me.'

'I'm no fool. I'm a danger to you. I know that your control isn't what it's cracked up to be. I'd kill me, if I were you.'

'You will speak of this?'

'No. Do you believe me? Didn't think so.'

'In fact, I do.' Startled, Leonard stared at Spock. 'I will not harm you. I promise you that.' Spock returned to its task. 'I do not destroy a man for preserving my life. Ah, you are relaxing.' Indeed, he was. He must be insane, but he started to trust the Vulcan. For now. 'Perhaps if I …' When Spock started stimulating his prostate, Leonard was completely unprepared. He hissed at the touch, and Spock broke the contact almost hastily.

'That … you didn't hurt me. Can you do that again?'

'Human sounds of pleasure seem curiously similar to those of pain.' Another nudge, a little more firmly.

'God … Yes. I'll give you that.' When Leonard felt himself responding he thought he must be in some sort of delirium. 'You can … you know. I'm ready.'

'Very well.' Spock withdrew and Leonard turned around. A second later, Spock was losing himself in the ancient, brutal rhythm of selfish lust, and Leonard groaned with the sudden pain.

'Slow down … Ah, Spock, that hurts.' But the Vulcan was too far gone. Incomprehensible words burst from his mouth and he held Leonard in place while he moved steadily. Leonard's erection was gone, all he felt was the searing agony. He didn't even want to know what this would have done to him if Spock had just taken him by the door. Even now, he would be bleeding. He might have sustained some severe damage without the preparation.

It stopped sooner than he had dared to hope. The Vulcan sagged beside him, and Leonard fell forwards, breathing deeply, trying to will the pain away. 'Was that it?' he managed at last. 'Is it over?'

'Yes. You may leave.' Nodding, Leonard gathered his dignity and his clothes and covered himself. 'I damaged you,' Spock said, looking at a bloody stain on his bed.

'Yeah. But not as much as you could have. So, what's the danger of this … happening again?'

'Not in your lifetime.'

'When? And why?'

'Every seven years. You will not survive that long. The Captain or I will have to dispose of you eventually. Your lack of trustworthiness and mental stability outweigh your worth.' He hadn't expected anything nice. No way was he disappointed. None at all.

'Of course,' he said. 'And why?' Spock's gaze was level when he looked at Leonard.

'My nature demands that I copulate every seven years. Leave. Speak to no-one about this or you will die sooner still.'

Ϡ

When the call came from Spock's quarters, Leonard was more than a little surprised. The Vulcan's face was impassive, but even over the screen, Spock wasn't quite meeting his eyes. 'I require your assistance.' Leonard decided to cling to the hope that this didn't mean what he thought it meant.

'With an experiment?'

'Not exactly. It seems that the fever was not entirely assuaged.' Leonard closed his eyes and swallowed. 'I will not inform the Captain. My control is better after your help.'

'Well, then, leave me alone.'

'Very well.'

'Wait. Will you just hurt or will you die?' Spock merely pursed his lips. 'Give me a minute. I'll prepare myself here and come over.'

This time, Spock's quarters were lit and the Vulcan was wearing a robe. Leonard walked over to him, wary and unsure why he had even come. Probably because the call to sickbay must be in the computer log and Kirk would have him killed when he found out that Spock had died because McCoy had refused to help him.

'As I informed you then, I noticed blood on my sheets last time. I was unaware that human males are so fragile and believed preparation would prevent bleeding.' Leonard snorted.

'Well, if I hadn't been prepared, I'd have been damaged a lot more. And I'll bleed again unless you go more slowly.'

'Take off your clothes.' Leonard did, feeling horribly vulnerable and exposed. Spock slipped out of his robe, naked underneath it and fully aroused. He appraised Leonard with a hungry look. 'You have more muscles than is evident under your uniform.' A much-too-warm hand brushed over his chest, down to cup his genitals. The Vulcan's core temperature was supposed to be lower than a humans by about four degrees Celsius. He must indeed feel like he was burning. 'The last time I could not appreciate your physical appeal. I can now. Lie on the bed.' Trying to relax, Leonard obeyed and waited for the imminent pain.

It never came. There was no violent invasion. Leonard wouldn't even call the encounter rough. Quite the contrary. Spock was very careful not to hurt him this time, and Leonard had to admit that he enjoyed it. 'Is it over?' he asked again when they both lay spent on the bed. Spock looked at him with a strange expression.

'I am uncertain. I will let you know.'

Ϡ

Spock called him twice more. After the last time, he told him that he did no longer need assistance. Leonard was profoundly relieved. The Vulcan was an enigma and a very dangerous man, and it was safest to stay as far from him as was at all possible. A small voice inside Leonard, however, regretted that they had not met under different circumstances.


	2. Mistakes

_Imbecile Anthem_

_Part 2: Mistakes_

_Some mistakes one never wants to learn from and he can't_

_Didn't you listen? Didn't you care? Don't you understand?_

The mission was just what Leonard needed: an opportunity. The Vulcan had somehow managed to transform himself into a real threat over the past few months. He had previously ignored Leonard, but now he was keeping a close eye on him and the Captain, and that didn't bode well. He could even point his finger at it: This had started when the others had been on their ship, those too soft fools from another reality. Since then, Spock had been weird. Weirder. Anyway, to be alone with him would be the best time to get rid of him. An accident. No-one would be any the wiser.

Ϡ

Humans, Spock found, were rather easy to read. McCoy more so than others. The way the man looked at him showed his intent all too clearly. If Spock was not careful, he would not leave this shuttle alive. For now, McCoy needed him. But down on the planet, things would be different. The doctor had admitted that he could not land the shuttle, but he would be able to return to the ship. The tractor beam would guide him home, with or without Spock.

He, on the other hand, did not need the doctor. And he certainly had no use for him. Of the entire crew, he was the only one who might, potentially, feel some sort of loyalty towards Kirk. Therefore, he might be an obstacle.

Spock had taken the other Kirk's words to heart. He would seize the Enterprise. And he would start that change. And if one sadistic doctor had to die for that change, so be it.

The shuttle gave an unpleasant lurch. 'What the hell is that?' the repulsive human barked.

'I believe that we are under the influence of an electromagnetic storm. The landing will be rough.' It was an understatement. When they finally touched down, Spock was half surprised the shuttle hadn't fallen to pieces. 'It will require some work to get us back into orbit,' Spock said. McCoy did not answer. That was unusual. McCoy always answered, usually in an unfriendly manner. 'Doctor?' He glanced at the man beside him and found him slipped half to the floor. A trickle of blood was running down his forehead. Spock folded his arms and observed him. 'That certainly simplifies matters.'

Ϡ

When Leonard opened his eyes, he wasn't surprised about the pain. He remembered the crash all right. He was surprised that he woke up at all, let alone outside the shuttle in a perfect lateral recumbent position. 'God, I went to hell and have to keep doing … this.'

'That is a very illogical statement.'

'Shut up.' He sat up and instantly vomited into his lap.

'You have a concussion, doctor.'

'Yeah. I noticed.' His vision was swimming, he was sick, and he wanted to die. 'Why couldn't you just kill me? I would have.'

'I am still analysing my own reluctance to end your life when it would have been so easy.' Leonard snorted and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

'Do we have water?' Spock offered a bottle, and Leonard eyed it suspiciously. 'Well, I guess you could have killed me more easily than this,' he said and drank deeply. 'When can we get going again?'

'Soon. There are minor repairs necessary, but they should not take me longer than five hours. After that time, I shall need to rest. I did not have a chance to do so prior to our departure.' Leonard nodded and leaned back against his pillow. He felt for the hypospray he had prepared and found that it was where it should be. He'd make the trip back all alone. By helping him, the fool had signed his own death sentence.

Leonard smiled inwardly when, hours later, he found the Vulcan sitting in the shuttle with his eyes closed. He had thought this would be much more difficult. Now all he had to do was put the poison in his system and survive an angry Spock for the ten seconds it would take the substance to start affecting him. He took out the vial and stood ready to apply it. His hands started shaking and he felt a very odd sensation. His head was still hurting from the concussion. This must be it.

His head was still pounding because he was not, in fact, dead. Because Spock had not killed him, had actually taken care that he would not choke to death if he vomited during his unconsciousness. Swallowing, Leonard flung the hypospray away. The moment it clattered to the floor, Spock jerked away. 'Fucking bastard,' Leonard managed. 'I can't even kill you.' Spock's eyebrows rose. 'You saved my life.'

'It did not need saving.'

'It might have.' Leonard sat next to him and buried his face in his hands. 'Spock … I wonder. Why didn't you kill me?' He realised it sounded like a plea. A plea for what, Leonard wasn't too certain.

'I was about to do so but then decided to give you a chance.' Leonard looked up at the man next to him.

'A chance to do what? Kill you instead? I … wanted to. Right now. I'd planned it all along.'

'And yet, you did not do it.' Leonard sighed.

'No. Seemed … just so wrong. I'm too weak for this entire Starfleet thing. Jim always said so.'

'Jim?' Leonard huffed.

'We used to be friends. Long ago.' He really didn't want to think about this. 'Spock … you're plotting something. I don't know what, but you don't kill needlessly. And I'm pretty sure you wanted to kill me, so there must be some reason.' Spock gave him a quizzical look.

'Fascinating. You read me well.' Leonard shrugged.

'I don't know. So why? You've been weird ever since we crossed with the other universe. What happened?' When Spock stood and started working on the shuttle, Leonard followed and stopped him with a hand on his arm. 'Look. We both had an opportunity to kill each other and didn't do it. With the shuttle dead, no-one can ever hear us. You can tell me.'

'You wish me to trust you?' Leonard smiled, and for the first time in too long there was no venom in it, no anger, no sneer.

'Yes Spock. Cause I think I can trust you. And I'm …' He turned away. 'I hate all this. I hate killing. I hate causing pain at someone's beck and call. I hate my life.' The busy movement behind Leonard stopped.

'Why did you join Starfleet?' He turned back around.

'Misjudgement on my part. I'd rather not go into details. It's not a happy memory.' Spock seemed to steel himself.

'I did not kill you because I believed that there is a part of you that is not corrupted. Maybe I was right. Maybe you are a good actor, but I am reluctant to think so. I will tell you my intentions. Know that if you betray any of this to the Captain your life is forfeit. I shall deny it, and he will have you executed. If he does not believe me, I shall personally kill you.'

'You won't have to, Spock.'

'I intend to seize command of the Enterprise. I shall kill the Captain at the first opportunity I get. And then I intend to set this world right.'

'Sounds like an adolescent's dream. I had it, too.'

'And you should not give it up. Are you willing to help me?'

'How do you plan to do this?' Spock sighed.

'I am, as yet, uncertain. But an opportunity will present itself. I need to know that if when this time comes you will stand on my side.' Leonard nodded eagerly.

'Of course.'

Ϡ

When they stepped out of the shuttle in the hangar bay, Kirk was awaiting them. 'Spock, I want your report in an hour. McCoy …' For a moment he faltered, and Spock wondered why. But then it passed, and Kirk was his brisk, angry self. 'McCoy, yours as well. Next time I'll leave you both behind if you fail to report.'

'If that Vulcan son of a bitch wasn't such a lousy flier none of this would have happened,' McCoy grated, but it lacked his usual bile.

'Next time you fly the shuttle. I shall make sure someone else accompanies you, however.' Kirk pursed his lips.

'Quit arguing and get to work. I'm growing tired of the constant fighting. If you don't stop, I'll shut you up permanently.' When Kirk rushed out, Spock chanced a sideways glance at McCoy. The physician offered a smile and a wink and walked off. Spock followed at a more sedate speed and proceeded to his quarters. He needed to write a report. And then he needed to meditate.


	3. For All the Imbeciles

_Imbecile Anthem_

_Part 3: For All the Imbeciles_

_I've got a song for the fools_

_For all the imbeciles_

For a long time, Spock showed no signs of putting his thoughts into action, and Leonard began to think that he had changed his mind. Even if he had, the Vulcan had become accessible. They talked often, almost every evening, and it became clear that they were not so dissimilar in their views. Leonard found himself thinking of him as a friend. It was a frightening thought. He had once thought about Jim in a similar fashion, but the man had transformed into a monster and had nearly broken Leonard with him. On several occasions he had enjoyed torturing the crew for him. He hated himself for it, but it was still true.

They were now on a first contact mission. Those were always dangerous. Faced with the choice to either cooperate or be destroyed, most succumbed quickly, but some had spirit. The Saleeans were an example of the latter. The Empire made contact in a nice and friendly fashion, trying to find out the weaknesses of their future allies before striking. The Saleeans had asked that the Captain come down personally. Being the hubristic fool he was, he had done so, believing the short, slender humanoids were little more than cattle. They were not. They had killed his two guards and taken Kirk captive. Now it was Spock's choice to do as he saw fit. Leonard wondered what he would do. They might not have such a good opportunity to get rid of Kirk again anytime soon.

As if on cue, the door chime rang. Twice. Spock's signal. 'Come on in,' Leonard called. The Vulcan looked determined.

'I have made my decision.' He sat across from Leonard without waiting for the permission. That was relatively new. He was getting comfortable, and he was beginning to trust Leonard. His threat that he would kill him for any betrayal had never been repeated, and by now, Leonard knew enough to bring the Vulcan down without any risk to himself. And yet, it seemed that more would come. 'I will not recover the Captain. We shall leave him to the Saleeans.'

'And then?' Leonard asked.

'We will need more allies. We will be assigned a Betazoid officer. I will get him to help me.'

'You'd trust what he says?'

'I have known him before and I have learned that not all trust is misplaced.' The Vulcan lowered his voice. 'I do trust you.'

'I know.' Leonard swallowed. 'What'll they do to him?'

'They said Kirk will be tortured while we consider. If we take too long, he will die from it.' The Vulcan sounded entirely unperturbed. Leonard had thought he'd be relieved, but now he felt … grief. Profound grief. Fuck. He should feel that the asshole had it coming, that he deserved being tortured until he couldn't even squeal any more.

'He wasn't always like that.' He hadn't meant to say it, but the words had just come out. 'When I got divorced I joined the Academy to get the hell out. Jim followed. He was so young and innocent and I told him it would destroy him. But he wanted to create a change. So much like you now. And God knows he tried. He had to pretend to be a jerk at first, and by the time he got this command, he'd really become one. I mourn the man he was.'

'Was he truly different or did he pretend?' Leonard shook his head.

'He was a fine man. But so was I.' When Leonard's hands were taken into two cooler ones, he swallowed.

'You still are.' Leonard looked at him.

'Am I? I'm condemning a man I cared about like a brother to death. What does that make me?' Spock sighed.

'Are you on my side?'

'Always. I'll stand by you. But … We never gave him a chance.'

'A chance to kill us first?' At last, Leonard pulled his hands away.

'I know. It just hurts.' Spock sighed minutely.

'I will inform the Saleeans that they may do as they see fit.' Leonard watched the Vulcan leave with a growing lump in his throat. If only things had gone different.

Ϡ

The past two hours had been difficult. Spock had struggled with the emotions he had sensed from Leonard during their moment of physical contact. He had never, so far, considered the human a potential mate, but there were certain overtones in the man's feelings that made Spock wonder. That did not make it easier to get rid of a man Leonard was apparently attached to. The complete absence of any romantic feelings for Captain Kirk in the transmission had served to add weight to the impression that Leonard did have them for Spock. And he, in turn, found himself returning them. The doctor was not an option for a mate. He was too promiscuous and too unstable. But that did not lessen Spock's struggle with the idea to hurt him, even if it seemed unavoidable.

Now, after communicating with the Saleeans and ninety-five minutes of meditation on what had motivated his decision, Spock strode purposefully towards Leonard's quarters and entered with his hands behind his back. 'Doctor, follow me to the planet surface,' he said without preamble. The bright blue eyes went wide.

'What? Why?' He swallowed. 'Sorry, Captain. I didn't mean to be rude. Just what do I need to do?' Spock allowed a small smile to form on his face, more for Leonard's benefit than because he couldn't keep it from showing.

'A weapon and your mind will be sufficient. And I am not the Captain.'

'You soon will be.'

'Come.' He led the way, wondering if he was somehow going insane. Perhaps the doctor had kept him drugged. But that was impossible. He would not do that. Not to Spock. Only when they had reached the surface and could not be overheard, the Vulcan decided to talk. They had been beamed directly next to the place Spock needed to be in. 'Leonard, what would you have suggested that we do?'

'Moot point.'

'Indulge me. And in the future, approach me before it is too late. Since we have agreed to work together, I expected you to offer input.' Leonard looked taken aback.

'I thought you'd expect me to just follow your lead.' Spock folded his arms.

'Following orders may be comfortable, but I believe you are capable of more than that. What would you have had me do?'

'Find him, let me talk to him, and then decide.'

'You know Kirk would have said anything we wanted to head.' Leonard nodded slowly.

'Yes. I know. I'm not blaming you.'

'Follow me. Be prepared for a fight. Fire at will.' He slammed the door before them open and charged inside. Without a warning, he shot one of the two Saleeans in the room and saw Leonard taking out the second. A groan reached his ears and he approached the shaking naked figure in the corner of the room. A hand closed around Spock's arm and he looked at Leonard.

'You didn't do it,' he breathed. 'You didn't tell them to kill him.'

'Not yet,' Spock said. When Leonard took his face into both his hands he was too startled to react. When the man kissed him right where they were standing, he thought the universe would collapse.

Ϡ

Leonard pulled away, shocked at what he had done and frightened of how the Vulcan would react. He expected many things, but not a gentle hand on his chin, tilting up his face to lock their gazes. A smile danced in Spock's eyes and his thumb brushed over Leonard's skin in a small caress when he pulled his hand away. 'We shall discuss this later,' he said. Steadying himself, Leonard approached the corner of the room.

'Captain,' he said cautiously. He dreaded what torture might have done to an already dangerous man. Kirk looked up and stared at him, his eyes wide and scared.

'You two. I never thought you'd team up to kill me. Of Spock I was always wary, but I never thought it of you.' Leonard swallowed the reply he wanted to give him.

'We're here to offer help,' he said instead. 'To recover you.'

'Under certain conditions,' Spock added quickly.

'What might that be?' Spock folded his arms.

'The Saleeans will not be destroyed. We will attempt to negotiate until it proves impossible. Those that held you captive will be brought to justice, but the population, the innocents, will not pay for the crimes of others.' Kirk's eyes narrowed.

'Ever since these … these impostors were on my ship you've been spouting your idealism at me. I'm tired of it. I'll get rid of you.'

'You might do well to remember that you aren't in a position to threaten us,' Leonard said calmly. 'And there was a time where you and I were quite a bit more idealistic than we are now.'

'That was before we grew up.' Leonard swallowed and shook his head.

'It was before we were broken.' He looked at Spock. 'Truth? All of it?' He received a small nod and crouched beside the man who had been his friend for years. 'We … had planned to get rid of you, you know. But I asked Spock … I told him you were a different man, and I believe that this other person, this boy with his love for life, is still in there.'

'I'd have died long ago if I'd allowed myself to be like that.' Leonard sighed and sat next to Kirk, leaning with his back against the wall like him.

'Yes. So would I. But now you've established yourself as a Starfleet Captain. You have your crew under control. Some of them are even quite loyal, you just don't know it.' He looked up at Spock. 'You know, we had plans. I didn't tell you that on the ship. We didn't just happen to go to Starfleet. We wanted to change things. Have you forgotten that, Jim? And don't say we were so damn young, because I wasn't.'

'What would you have me do?'

'Simple. We'll make this change, Jim. It was once your dream. You can help us, or you die.'

'All right. I'll help.'

'In three days we shall be joined by a Betazoid. He will be on our side.' The threat in Spock's voice was clear, and Kirk stared up at the Vulcan, shock plain on his face for a split second. 'Doctor, I believe that it is best to finish this here.' Leonard hated that Spock was right, hated himself. But he rose and stood beside him all the same.

'We can't trust you.'

'And how should I trust you?' There was no fear in Kirk, even though he knew what they were going to do. 'What if you've been told to test me by Starfleet?'

'You had your chance to take that leap of faith.'

'At least be quick about it.' Kirk leaned back and closed his eyes. 'I'm waiting, Bones.' Perhaps it was the dejection in his voice, perhaps it was pure instinct. Perhaps it was the use of a nickname he had half forgotten. But something caused Leonard to stall Spock's hand reaching for the phaser.

'One last time, Jim. Look at me and tell me you'll be with us. We'll know if you're not, and you'll find no proof of our conspiracy, such as it is. One last time, I ask you to answer. Tell me if you still believe.' Kirk did him to favour to open his eyes. There was no fight in him, no spirit. Either torture or life itself had buried it, perhaps too deeply to be rekindled.

'I don't believe in this. And I can't believe you'd be foolish enough to let me back to the ship. Certainly not Spock. You've got to kill me.'

'If Leonard chooses to trust you, I shall not harm you.' _For now._ Leonard heard the unspoken words, and so, no doubt, did Jim. Ignoring his nudity, the Captain rose to his feet, facing them. He swayed so badly Leonard was tempted to go and support him.

'All right.' Jim swallowed and when he spoke, his voice was laden with something that might be terror or awe. 'I will help you. I will lead you if you let me. I will do all within my power to burn the Empire down and forge a new world from the ashes.' Leonard felt tears forming in his eyes. He had heard the same words, to the letter, from Jim before they had joined this mess. That he remembered so precisely had to mean something. 'I will give my life, if I must, for a system where no-one needs to fear for their life, where diplomacy is used rather than violence.' He smiled, but it looked awfully sad. 'But, you see, we can't do this the way we thought. With words and persuasion. We'll have to use force and threats and torture. We'd have to kill our way to that goal.'

'Jim, I didn't think for a second that a pacifist movement could bring down the Empire. Not for a long time.' Spock still looked ready to fire.

'Doctor?' Leonard stared deeply into Kirk's eyes. His heart bled, but the fact remained that Jim had done vile things. Spock had been right, he would say anything to save his hide.

'We can't risk it.' The Captain deflated visibly and nodded once. The understanding in his eyes seemed so genuine … 'Are you sincere, Jim? Because if you are, allow Spock to touch your mind.' The Vulcan's eyes darted to Leonard and he glanced up at him. Now Kirk did look frightened.

'No. I won't allow it. I'd be little more than a shell once he's done with me! I've seen victims of this … insanity! Shoot me. That's better than … this.'

'There is no need to fear it,' Spock said quietly. 'No harm will be done if you allow it to happen. Only if you resist it is dangerous for you.' He lowered his voice further. 'I will allow you to see my mind as well. You will know that I am not attempting to lead you into a trap.' Kirk's breath was coming fast and he sat back down.

'Do it,' he said then. With one more look at Leonard, Spock knelt beside Kirk and reached for the mind of the man they had wanted to kill.

Ϡ

Spock's Betazoid had made Leonard worry. He wasn't the only one. The entire crew dreaded the arrival of the telepath that would, so they thought, tell every secret thought to the Captain. Indeed the Betazoid was called Noran and someone Spock had known before. Right now, however, Noran wasn't what kept Leonard awake halfway through the night. Swearing, he looked at the chronometer. 2305. Spock would still be awake.

Ever since they had brought Jim back, Leonard had tried to find an opportunity to catch the Vulcan alone. So far, without success. It was due to their shifts, and Leonard knew that, but he couldn't help wondering if Spock wasn't avoiding him. Feeling antsy, Leonard fled from his bed and contacted Spock. At least he tried. He didn't seem to be in his quarters. It therefore followed that he was working. Last thing he'd known, he was in a bio lab. Leonard would look there and also check on Jim.

He automatically walked to the isolated room that held the Captain first. He entered soundlessly. The doors to these rooms were more complicated and more expensive and actually didn't make the hissing noise all others did. They also tended to need more maintenance. Jim was lying on his back with his eyes closed. He had sustained severe injuries from broken bones to internal bleeding and a rib threatening to puncture his lung. If they hadn't brought him back he would have died in the next few hours. How he had managed to get to his feet was anyone's guess. Pure spite, probably.

In sleep, he looked relaxed. It was more difficult to see the cruel, hate-driven man he had become when he looked like this. He seemed years younger, the angry mouth almost smiling. Not wanting to disturb his rest, Leonard turned to leave again. 'Bones,' the familiar voice said softly, and he looked at him again. 'Can you give me something to sleep?'

'You were pretending earlier, weren't you?' Jim didn't nod, but he managed to look ashamed. 'It's all right. You can allow yourself to be a mere human with me.'

'I'm trying.'

'Are you in pain?' A short nod. Leonard produced a hypo and gave it Jim. 'That'll let you sleep. Can't give you more painkillers. This was a melatonin substitute. It …' Jim chuckled, and he fell silent.

'I've turned you into a monster. And a scared monster at that. I don't have to know what it is. I know you won't hurt me.' Leonard sat at the side of Jim's bed and studied him.

'You're responsible for your own actions. I have to deal with mine.'

'I ordered you to torture our people.' He turned his head away. 'Our crew. I swore I'd protect those in my hands. And what did I do? How many have I killed? Marlena … just because she slept with the other Captain. Not that I even know if she did.' Leonard shrugged.

'You don't want to know how many died in here after walking in as perfectly healthy young people.' He rubbed a hand over his face. 'We can't bring them back, but we can try and change the future. At least for us.'

'I've changed my mind.' He looked back up at Leonard. He must have seen the shock on his face because he smiled and shook his head. 'Not that way. First I wanted to try and do something but still protect my precious hide at all costs. But without risks this won't work.'

'No. Even trying to rebel is a risk, and not a small one at that.'

'You're right. And I'll take it. Will you too? Will Spock? Are you ready to die for this?'

'It's either that or live like we have so far. Unable to trust anyone. Even our best friends.'

'Are we still?'

'We can be again.'

'And Spock? Do you think he'll ever trust me?'

'Not right now, but eventually.'

'What's going on between you and him?' Leonard smiled slightly.

'I have no idea.'

'I threw you to him like a cow into a lion cage. If you had died that night, I'd have shrugged it off. I'm so, so sorry.' Leonard swallowed.

'You know, it wasn't all bad.' He squeezed Jim's arm. 'He'd have died. I'm grateful that he didn't. I wouldn't have helped him if you'd asked nicely. Not at first. I did then. But … Your intention was to protect you first officer, the only one not after the big chair. And I was the logical choice. I know you won't do this or something like it to me again. But I also know that all of us are prepared to hurt our enemies. We'll have to if we wish to survive.'

'Fighting fire with fire. Wonder if there's redemption for any of us or if we're too far gone.' Jim's speech was slow and hard to comprehend. The medication taking effect. 'Trust you too, you know. Yesterday'd've thought you poisoned me.' Leonard smiled.

'Good night, Jim. We'll talk again tomorrow.'

'G'nigh'.'

Ϡ

Leonard found Spock bent over a computer. 'You should be asleep, Doctor,' the calm baritone said. Leonard walked up to him and sat beside him.

'Can't and don't want to drug myself. I might think I only dreamed it all if I do that.' He leaned forwards. 'Spock … I owe you an apology.' At last, the Vulcan looked up and at Leonard.

'You do? I am unaware of any reason why you would wish to apologise.'

'What I did down on that planet. I wanted to come sooner, but I didn't know how to start.'

'It would be helpful if you were more precise. As I recollect, there was nothing you did on the planet that warrants a request for forgiveness. If you did something you regret, that is unfortunate.'

'Don't Vulcans have eidetic memory?'

'A common misconception. However, I do believe I know what you speak of.' He frowned slightly. 'I refuse to submit to a human as my master, Doctor. If that is what you seek, I will not offer it.' Leonard swallowed.

'Submission wasn't what I had in mind. I know that you people are under humanity's heel, but I don't want you under mine. I don't want to be under yours, either.'

'If that is out of the way, we can discuss what happened. Are you aware of Vulcan biology?' Leonard stared at Spock before he burst into hysterical laughter.

'Spock, I think I gathered a thing or two when I was kicked into your cabin during your … your … fever.' The Vulcan swallowed and looked away. 'Hey.' Suddenly feeling bold, Leonard reached out and turned Spock's head around. 'Hey, it's all right. I enjoyed it, you know. Not the first time. But eventually.'

'What I meant is that … Vulcans do not generally practice casual sex. What happened with you was only possible because of my biology.'

'I wondered if Vulcans practice sex at all outside their time. Aside from being forced by humans.'

'Only if there is a bond. A permanent bond.'

'I … Oh.'

'Any betrayal would be agony. I am unwilling to suffer that or to demand exclusivity from you.' The truth was, Leonard liked having half his staff at his disposal, male and female. He had used sex to bribe and to coax and to blackmail others. He had also bribed, coaxed, and blackmailed others into sex.

'I can't promise you exclusivity,' he said.

'Then I thank you for your honesty but have to refuse.' Slowly, Leonard nodded.

'Shame. I really like you.'

'The reverse is also true.'

'Are we still friends?' A small smile formed on Spock's face.

'Of course, Doctor. Now go to sleep. You will require your rest. I intend for us to take the first steps in our endeavour tomorrow.'

Ϡ

Spock sat facing Jim and Leonard. Noran was with them, too. They were in a private booth of the rec room. The space was meant for two people at the most and therefore was now overcrowded. The Betazoid's black eyes had searched the two humans before settling on Spock. 'I do not require confirmation of the intentions of these men. I have touched the Captain's mind and I trust Doctor McCoy.' It struck him then that he had never melded with the Doctor. Strange, how he relied on him. 'I have asked you here, because we all know that we will need more allies. We must, however, be cautious in approaching them.'

'Who would you suggest?' Leonard asked. 'Who … can we trust?' Their eyes met, and something flared between them. The human swallowed, apparently feeling the same. Spock, for a moment, wondered if he couldn't ignore his need for a bond, but dismissed the thought. He would not abandon all he believed in. Not even for this man.

'I would suggest the higher ranking officers. Scott, Sulu, and Uhura come to mind.'

'Chekov,' the Captain said instantly. 'He's not exactly higher ranking, but he is very able. He could be an asset.'

'Christine,' Leonard said. 'I'd like to have my head nurse in this mess. But I don't know … I really don't know.'

'That's why I'm here,' Noran told them. 'I'll be there when you talk to them. Assess them. Either make sure they understand this was real, or impress upon them that you were testing them. Don't be too convincing, just a suggestion.'

'Our advantage is that no-one trusts anyone,' Jim said, his eyes alight with energy. 'They won't talk among each other. I'll tackle Chekov and Sulu. Spock, you get Uhura. Bones, you're good with Scott and Christine's yours anyway.'

'I can do mine easily and have Noran near my office. You two'll have to find another way.'

'We'll manage. We'll talk again in a week. I want results.' Jim's face softened a bit. 'Until then … meeting adjourned.'


	4. The Ship of Fools

_Imbecile Anthem_

_Part 4: The Ship of Fools_

_You're the master, we're your tools  
We follow your star, we are the ship of fools_

When Christine Chapel entered Leonard's office, he gestured to the visitors' chair. 'Nurse, I have to make a proposition,' he said. The computer was not recording their conversation, Spock had told him, and the only witness was Noran. Without Spock, this would be very difficult. Only a few people on this vessel had the necessary knowledge to prevent the automatic logging of every activity on the ship. The Betazoid was in the adjacent storage room, gauging the emotions of the woman. 'I will need you to keep this confidential. I have your word?'

'Certainly, Doctor.'

'A few others and I are going to … Well. This Empire needs some serious change.' He lowered his voice. 'I know that when you became a nurse you didn't do it to inflict pain. I want to give you – us both, actually – the opportunity to be what we were meant to be. Healers.'

'Meaning?' Somehow he sensed it was no good, but for the first time since he had started his service on this ship Jim Kirk had given him an order he wanted to follow. At least if he was successful.

'Meaning that we have to set the world we live in straight. Break the Empire and build one that leaves room for compassion.'

'You speak treason.' She didn't seem frightened. She was actually smiling. The door to the storage room opened and Noran came out. Christine rose.

'Computer, lock door,' Leonard said calmly. The woman froze. Ignoring her, Leonard nodded towards Noran.

'Lieutenant Sulu didn't fully believe the Captain when he spoke to him. But she does.' Leonard closed his eyes, for a moment contemplating the injustice of it all.

'I can't let her go, can I?' Noran merely shook his head. Christine's eyes were wide with sudden terror.

'I … I won't speak of it. I promise.' Leonard chanced a glance at the Betazoid.

'She means it. Now. She will not in a few hours.' Leonard sighed. He had prepared for that eventuality. He produced a hypo from his drawer and both men descended on the nurse, who ran to the door, hammering her fists against it in a pointless effort to draw attention.

'I'm sorry,' Leonard said. 'It'll be quick.' He injected the neurotoxin into her neck, and after five seconds, she sank to the floor, twitching. Only when she was beyond saving, Leonard hoisted her up and carried her out, flung over his shoulders like a wet bag. A crewman with some minor injury and a young doctor stared at him. 'As you were,' he barked. 'You want to ask questions, you'll get some of the same. Noran, you inform the Captain, but first you get back in there. We've got one more conversation to conduct.'

'Of course,' the Betazoid said, looking intimidated, and hurried back into the office and out of sight. It was an act, of course, but no-one else knew that. Leonard wondered briefly if he even still had a soul that was worth saving but pushed it from his mind when Scott entered. His eyes brushed Christine Chapel lying dead on a bed and being covered by a cloth and his eyes went wide.

'What was that?' he asked when he and Leonard were sequestered in the CMO's office.

'I may tell you later,' he said. 'Scott … Hell, how do I say this.'

'Doctor, am I going to end up dead, too?' Leonard swallowed. He hoped not. He really did.

'Oh, Scotty,' he managed. 'I … Look. You know how I hate all this. This place. You know I tried to get out and you didn't tell the Captain. So … I think … you're the right man to talk to. Again.' The engineer's face softened and he reached over to squeeze Leonard's arm.

'Len, if you want out, I'll arrange it. I told you that then.' A slow smile spread on Leonard's face.

'You're willing to risk your life for that?' A short nod, just once. 'Would you risk it for more than just an occasional drinking buddy? If I asked you to rebel against all that we're doing out here?' He raised his hand when Scott wanted to speak. 'Hear me out. I know it's a lot more precarious because we'll be in constant danger. Not just a moment of risk like that would be. But … we're actually four so far, maybe more before the day's out. And we would so need you on our side.'

'What's the plan?'

'Scotty, I can't tell you that.'

'Oh, yes, Len, you can. Is that what Chapel died for?' Leonard didn't answer. He didn't have to. Scott sighed. 'I won't tell a soul, even if I don't agree to it. Do you believe that?'

'I do. But I'm not the one who decides if you're to be believed?'

'Mr Spock?' Leonard shook his head and the engineer's eyes widened. 'Aaah, that Betazoid of his. Lurking about somewhere.'

'You're too intelligent for your own good.'

'Can I have a drink? Seeing how it may be my last?' Leonard smiled.

'Sure.' He walked to his cupboard and poured him a generous amount of Scotch. 'So here's the deal. We need to take over the ship. One by one. Get rid of those that aren't on our side. Spock and Jim know a Captain or two who might also be game. We'll have to invite them over, of course, and kill them if necessary. We'll also try to get a cloaking device.'

'How?'

'We're not sure yet. But Spock reckons his contacts can help. That's part of why we'd so sorely need you.'

'To hook it up to the Enterprise.'

'And other ships, if we're lucky.'

'And then?'

'Then we start converting the peoples of the Empire. Starting on Vulcan.'

'They're slaves, most of them.'

'And I'm sure they don't like it very much.' Scott nodded slowly.

'Solid. Dangerous but solid.'

'What do you say?'

'Can I think that through?' Leonard shrugged.

'Noran!' he called. The Betazoid came out of the sideroom, and Scott chuckled. 'What's the verdict?' Leonard asked, dreading the answer.

'He has time. And he does not have to die, whatever his decision.'

'Isn't that risky? Even if I don't choose to talk, I could be forced to.' Leonard decided to ignore that remark.

'Go and make your decision, Scotty. And tell me when you know. Or any of us.' He swallowed. 'Noran … let's tell Jim about Christine.'

Ϡ

Jim was already looking sour when Leonard joined him for dinner. 'What's eating you?' he asked. Jim gave him a baleful look.

'You'll have to kill me after all. Got the third and last reminder to destroy the Saleeans. And I'll do it. Because if I don't someone else will and then I hang.' Leonard had feared it. They were in orbit too long already. The Saleeans hadn't met the Empire's agreement, so they had to go.

'Why do we have to kill you?'

'You said I had to spare them if you were to rescue me. I can't spare them.' Leonard made a face.

'But you tried. Jim, we'll make this right. We must. We're digging that hole deeper and deeper. We can't stop now.'

'No.' He swallowed. 'Sorry about Chapel. Sulu's dead, too. First seemed to think I tried to trick him, but an hour ago he came and tried to blackmail me. Chekov wanted time. Seemed relieved that Sulu's gone at least.'

'Sulu raped him a couple of times,' Leonard said. 'Small wonder he thinks he's good riddance, and I must say I won't lose sleep over him. Uhura?'

'No idea. Oh, look.' The door had revealed Scott, who was approaching them with the purposeful strides of a man who was focussing on walking a straight line. He managed, but it looked more than a little clumsy. Apparently, his thinking had been aided by scotch.

'I'll do it,' he said without preamble, and Leonard beamed at him.

'I knew it.'

'Good. Very good,' Jim said. 'Now we need to see where Spock got. He should come any moment.'

Ϡ

Spock, luckily, was successful as well. It was a start, and not the worst possible. Leonard let the rest of the evening pass before his mind's eye. Spurred by their success so far, he had called nurse Maria Glaine to his quarters, in order to end the day with a bit of good sex. He had succeeded only in making a fool of himself and probably prompting her to go tell everyone that he couldn't get it up. He'd told her that it was because she didn't have a dick, but in truth, that wasn't the problem. He had never been picky about who he fucked, but tonight, all he could think of was a tall, forbidding Vulcan.

So far, Leonard had successfully told himself that his crush would pass, but the facts remained as they were. He had had less and less sex since that particular conversation and now, it seemed, his body had decided that if he couldn't have Spock, he'd have no-one. He'd told him he liked him. What an understatement.

Against his will, the word love slipped into Leonard's mind. It frightened him to the core. Not only did Spock tell anyone who'd listen that he didn't have emotions (which was bullshit, that much Leonard knew for sure), but he also was a Vulcan. Their peaceful nature had driven almost all of them into some form of slavery, their entire planet was taken by force by the Empire, and if there was sexual contact between humans and Vulcans, the Vulcans rarely consented. Spock's position as first officer was something extremely rare and had come to be before Jim had been turned into a complete minion of the Empire. Leonard would be a cause for ridicule if he let the Vulcan into his heart as well as his bed, never mind if he bonded to him.

But then again, he wanted change. He certainly didn't want a slave in bed. He had loved once, and it hadn't worked out. At all. Now … could it? The important question was if he could be faithful. A small voice in his head said that he'd done it before and hadn't missed anything. Against his better judgement, against his will, Leonard felt he was drawn out of his quarters and to the first officers'. He stood there, contemplating the door, before he signalled. 'Come,' the deep voice called, and he stepped into the lion's den.

Something about his stance must have given away that he felt insecure because Spock frowned at him for a moment before he approached. 'Is something wrong?' Leonard shook his head. His heart was beating way too fast. He was an adult, damn it, not a teenager.

'Spock, I … want to tell you something. Ask you something, really. No, tell you.'

'Doctor, you appear to be slightly confused. I do not smell alcohol on you, so I wonder if you require medical attention.' Leonard grinned. He must look very sheepish.

'No. I … wanted to tell you that I meant what I said. A while ago. That I like you.'

'I cannot offer …'

'Wait. Please. I want you to consider … trusting me. With more than you already do. I know I said I can't be exclusive, but you're so worth it.' Spock's eyes were warm and soft, and yet, Leonard knew the rejection would come.

'I cannot.' He looked away, feeling heat crawling into his face. 'Leonard … not without a reason to believe you can indeed be faithful.'

'I'll prove it,' he heard himself say, and to his own astonishment, he meant it.

'Let me meld with you. Create a slight link. If you do not break it – and even the intention to have sexual intercourse with someone else would do that – I shall consider it.' A smile stole onto Leonard's face. On impulse more than anything, he stepped closer and pulled Spock in for a kiss. For a moment, he was rigid, then he seemed to warm to the touch. When he broke away, Spock held him tightly. 'You are making it difficult to wait.' Leonard leaned close.

'I'm so not sorry. Now create that link of yours. You'll see.'

Ϡ

The vessel appeared out of no-where. Spock could feel the tension on the bridge in his very bones. Humans … they never stopped broadcasting. Spock hardened his shields against the onslaught. 'Captain there's a …'

'I see them, Chekov.' Kirk sounded strained. Small wonder.

'Incoming message.'

'On screen.'

'If I talk to anyone it will have to be your Vulcan.' Jim turned in his chair and smiled. It was that horrible leer he was capable of. If Spock didn't know that they were on the same side, he would be very wary indeed.

'All yours, Spock.'

'Peace and …'

'Cut it out,' the Romulan female on the other ship interrupted. 'You want something?'

'I want to call in the favour you owe me, Ter…'

'Shut up. My name has no business on your ship. What do you want?'

'You know what I want. I requested three cloaking devices.' Two ensigns turned to stare at him. Some of the few who didn't yet know what was going on on the Enterprise. All others were either on their side or dead, the crew reduced to some seventy, probably fifty by the end of it.

'I have them. What do I get in turn?'

'My silence and an end to your debt.'

'Vulcan bitch. You squeal nicely in you Captain's quarters?'

'You will either speak to my first officer with more respect or we'll incapacitate you and take the devices by force. And kill you all.' Kirk's voice was conversational, but there was no doubt about his intentions. The Romulan's eyes went a little wider. 'You were saying?'

'We will beam them on board.' The screen went blank. Spock made to go to the transporter room when Jim called him back.

'You stay right where you are, Spock. Security to transporter room, there's three devices coming. Check them. Thoroughly. Once done, one each goes to our allies, one to Mr Scott.' He cut the connection. 'You're way too valuable. This might be a trap and I won't risk you getting caught by an explosion.'

'Another message, from the Irving.' Kirk made a gesture at Uhura and the Captain of one of their allied vessels appeared on the screen.

'I report all hands in line.' Another smile, this one warm.

'Thank you. We'll be done in three days as was scheduled.'

'Why are they faster than us?' Spock asked automatically. Kirk allowed himself a sigh.

'Because Grabherr isn't as fussy as us. They either get an outright yes they believe is honest or you die. No second chances.' Chekov blanched visibly in his chair. Apparently, the Captain had noticed, too. 'While some of us here have never voiced their agreement, I believe that I have their answer all the same.' He shot the Russian a smile before turning his gaze on Spock. After a moment of hesitation, he walked over to the science console. 'Am I a fool?' he asked in an undertone. 'Tell me. Am I not careful enough?'

'I believe that Mr Chekov has indeed decided to side with us. Your take on the situation has been unconventional, but so is this entire endeavour.' His answer was equally quiet. 'If I believed that your faith in any particular crewmember was misplaced, I would let you know.' Kirk nodded.

'Good. Thank you.'

Ϡ

Leonard read the communiqué with a degree of amusement.

_Due to recent complaints, I have designed a set of rules, a moral code of conduct, if you will, which we all have to adhere to. We want change. If that is the case, one of the first things we need to fight is corruption and infighting._

_The first and most urgent rule that seems necessary is as follows:_

_No member of this crew from myself to every single cadet is allowed to use sex as a means to exert power. That means not as a bribe, or worse, a form of violence. Anyone who refuses to obey that order will share the fate of those who decided not to agree with my decision to turn to what Starfleet calls piracy. You voted for change. Live it._

_What I am _not_ saying is that no sexual contact is allowed. I am aware that there are several couples on board. I am also aware that there are crewmembers who choose more casual relations. I have nothing against that as long as it is consensual. And I do not consider coercion consent._

_I hope I am clear._

_All other related instructions are available in the _current orders_ folder in the public files. They are effective immediately._

_JTK_

He knew that he had told Jim about a yeoman approaching him, wanting drugs for sex and threatening him when he refused. He had been unaware that there were other such instances, but it was only logical. The entire Empire was corrupted.

'Approaching Vulcan space,' Uhura's voice announced shipwide.

'Cloaking device will be activated before visual contact is possible,' Jim continued. 'All hands be prepared for battle.'

Suddenly nervous, Leonard wrapped up his work in sickbay and retreated to his quarters. He was going to be among those who visited the planet. He and Jim and Spock. Uhura had wanted to come, but recently Jim had been very protective of the woman and decided that she remain on board with Scott in command. It was the first time that the Captain would leave the ship. A test on more than one front.

But before that, they had to clear the area. It meant combat. Leonard's door opened and closed, permitting Spock. Recently, he'd taken to visit at a certain time. Today, he was early. There was a chance none of them would be alive at their usual meeting time. 'Doctor, I wish to speak with you.'

'I figured,' Leonard said. Boy, was he scared. 'It's now, isn't it? God. We'll all die.'

'I hope not.' Spock sat, tight-lipped and more silent than usually. He wasn't unaffected. 'There are currently four vessels protecting Vulcan. We will attempt to take out three at once and the fourth before it can ask for help.'

'And then? How will your people greet us? What are the chances of them destroying us on sight?'

'There is that possibility. We have to uncloak to attack, and even if we re-activate the device afterwards, they would be able to track us.'

'Track us, or tell the Empire just how we managed to pull it off.'

'Logically, we have to destroy them if they do not agree to fight.' Leonard swallowed.

'Jim won't do that.'

'He might not. The other two ships …' Leonard shook his head and reached for Spock's hand.

'Listen. No-one's destroying your home.'

'You do not know that. In the unlikely event that someone does, I have a question.'

'Fire away.'

'Will you offer me a new one, Leonard? Can you truly do that?' The warmth that filled him was unlike anything Leonard had ever felt.

'Yes. I can and I do.'

'If we wait we might never have an opportunity to share the intimacy we both desire.' Leonard swallowed. He hadn't expected this. Not so soon, not before this was done. Spock's suggestion shot directly into his loins.

'You sure?' The Vulcan gave him a curt nod. 'Come here, then.' He stood and pulled the taller man into an embrace. 'Let's make love, Spock.'

Ϡ

From the moment the klaxon started to scream the red alarm, everything happened so fast Leonard would be hard pressed to give a detailed account. He had gone to the bridge with Spock. The look Jim had given them had been knowing enough to make Leonard blush crimson. Next thing he knew, they had fired, and an explosion lit up the screen. One more photon torpedo and a second ship went up in flames while their allies reported success, too. The triumph Leonard felt was dimmed by the fact that 1600 had died without so much as a warning. 'More blood on our hands. Isn't that great,' he muttered. Jim glared at him.

'If you had a better idea there was time to say so. And settling peacefully on some backwoods planet isn't an option unless we have to run.' Leonard raised his arms. Jim's temper was still bad, and he didn't want to be the centre of an escalation.

'Yeah, I know.'

'You're right, though. More blood. Fuck.'

'We had no choice,' Spock said quietly, earning a sharp look from the Captain.

'I know that. We all do.' He took a deep breath. 'A channel to T'Pau, Nyota.'

'Open.'

'This is James Kirk of the I.S.S. Enterprise. We need to talk.'

'If I refuse, you will wipe out all life on the planet?' The voice was acerbic, if that was possible for a Vulcan. 'How do you even know how to contact me?'

'I have my sources.'

'The half-Vulcan. I know.'

'Actually, no. He had nothing to do with that bit. T'Pau, we will not hurt anyone on your planet. I actually have an offer to make. And I want to speak with you. I would like to come down with two of my staff and discuss this in private.' There was a minute of silence before the woman answered.

'Why would I believe that this is not a trap?'

'T'Pau, please hear me,' Spock said. 'If you believe that the status quo is acceptable and as it should be, you may send us away. If you do not, you need to speak to us.' There was another moment of hesitation.

'How many of you would come?'

'Three.'

'Very well. You have my coordinates, I assume. Beam down at once. Come unarmed or you will be taken into custody at once. T'Pau out.' Jim contemplated his hands for a few moments. Then he stood and looked first at Spock, then at Leonard.

'Very well, gentlemen, let's do this. Mr Scott … If you are found, get out.'

Ϡ

T'Pau was a grim woman. Tall, harsh, and as Vulcan as Spock before he had opened up. She was flanked by five guards. Their instruction was no doubt to shoot at the first sign of trouble. They had also searched them rather thoroughly for hidden weapons.

The Vulcans had led them silently into a large conference room of the building they had materialised in. 'What do you want, Captain?' T'Pau asked once they were inside. 'You have destroyed four Empire ships, to what end I do not know. I can only assume that it is either to impress on me how powerful you are or to feign an alliance.' Jim sighed.

'We … do not intend to feign anything. I wouldn't have ordered the death of so many to coax you into compliance.'

'And I am expected to believe that. What is your intention?' Jim opened his mouth and closed it.

'Spock, would you?' he asked after a moment. T'Pau raised her hand in protest.

'Spock is your Vulcan subordinate. I have to assume that he must do your bidding. If you say to lie, he will do so. If you say to spread his cheeks, he will as well.'

'He would not,' Spock said sharply. 'I do not belong to anyone.'

'I'd also have something to say about that,' Leonard muttered. The suggestion was outrageous, degrading for all of them. Jim looked pointedly at T'Pau.

'Well, here it is. I am a renegade. I'm sure you can hear Starfleet channels, and I'm also sure you know exactly what we are in the eyes of the Empire. I am wanted, so are the Captains Grabherr and Mallone. I have been called a pirate, a murderer, a dissident. And I am. All of those.' He shook his head. 'Because … I cannot keep looking the other way. I cannot … let them take what they want … cannot be their tool. Anyone's tool.' His expression hardened. 'If I were under orders from Starfleet, we wouldn't be having this conversation. That you even speak to me, when you must know what I am, is a violation of every rule pushed upon your planet. Yet I am here. Not up there, destroying all life like you said. You aren't meant to be slaves. You're meant to be free and calm and strange. I offer that. All I need is for you to believe me and help to undermine that system. With me.'

'If I refuse?'

'I will leave.'

'With no harm to anyone?'

'Of course.'

'Give me your thoughts.' Jim gave her a long-suffering look.

'Vulcans. Well, if that's what it takes to convince you, that's what you'll get.'

Ϡ

'The planet we are approaching is called Pri…' Spock faltered in mid-sentence. He frowned at the computer signal. He was naked, spent, and had Leonard in his arm and certainly did not want to talk to anyone else.

'Spock, transmission from Starfleet. It's hilarious. Whenever you've got time.' The Vulcan raised an eyebrow.

'Aren't you curious?' Leonard asked.

'Computer, play transmission.'

_… __another sighting of the Enterprise in sector 30. The reports have come from one of the outposts of the Empire and are currently being investigated. In the meantime, Starfleet Command reminds everyone that the three stolen vessels couldn't be tracked down, which very likely means they were all destroyed, including the people aboard._

_Should we receive genuine evidence that one or more of the ships are still out there, we will take immediate action. The people in charge of the tactics in that event still hold occasional meetings._

_I know all the arguments. Yes, Kirk is a very intelligent man. Yes, Spock as his science officer and second in command and who knows what else he's doing for the traitor, is a strong asset. Yes, McCoy has vast knowledge of medicine. But ultimately, they are all selfish men. Kirk is driven by his ego, Spock by fear, McCoy by bloodlust. They will destroy themselves if they haven't already done so._

_So anyone else who feels they need to report sightings of the Enterprise, you'd better have proof. You know what awaits you if your sightings lead to nothing. Chances are the recent rumours will lead to a few truly … agonising hours for the man reporting the incident. No pun intended._

'Sector thirty?' Leonard asked. 'What would we be doing there?'

'We do have a Romulan cloaking device.' Spock's hand was idly stroking Leonard's chest as he spoke. 'All in all, they truly believe we are dead.'

'Drifting in space, a ship full of corpses because I ran amok and stabbed everyone?'

'Judging from Commodore Stocker's words, one would think so.' The Vulcan turned to his side to face him. 'You were not too far from it. I did not believe you could be … like this.' Leonard smiled.

'Me neither. But I didn't really think that Jim would ever be Jim again.' Spock regarded him solemnly.

'You. It is really you. You brought us all together.' He leaned down and kissed Leonard. 'I was saying, the planet on which we will establish a base was called Prinat by its original inhabitants. It has been used for testing various weapons and vast areas are uninhabitable, the humanoids that lived there wiped out. But there is a continent with mountains and a rainforest that seems ideal for us. The various metals in the mountains make scanning difficult. It would be easy to hide there, and it is an ideal retreat for an extended leave once we managed to set up a transporter on the planet surface. It has all we could ask for.' A small frown formed on his face. 'For some reason the planet was renamed into Pripyat. Grabherr burst into rather undignified laughter when Jim used the name. I can only assume that it has some historic connotation I am unaware of. Grabherr has extensive plans that will be put into action immediately upon our arrival. Our facilities should be complete within a year. We will keep a low profile during that time. Once we are finished, T'Pau should have the support of a large proportion of my people as well. It will be interesting to see how much we can achieve.' Leonard snuggled closer to the Vulcan.

'Oh, we'll manage. And those standing in our way never see it coming. Literally.'

'Indeed. A waste of life, but necessary.' Spock closed his eyes, letting his heart slow down in preparation for sleep. He sensed the anxiety the transmission had left in his bondmate, the reminder of the darkness in his past that had threatened to consume him. He sensed a very clear memory of Jim Kirk in sickbay, half drugged into sleep, doubting there was a way for them to redeem themselves. 'We have destroyed more lives than we have saved. But we can further tip the ratio in the right direction, Leonard. Now sleep. You need it more than I do.'


End file.
